


you shouldn’t be alone

by sunfreckled



Series: against the odds [1]
Category: Dota (Video Games) RPF
Genre: Crying, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gen, Platonic Cuddling, Team as Family, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 19:27:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23970766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunfreckled/pseuds/sunfreckled
Summary: “Does it still hurt for you?” Sébastien eventually breaks the silence with a question Jesse saw coming from miles away.It’s a calm night in Paris, and Jesse and Sébastien talk about some previously-ignored feelings.
Relationships: Ceb | Sébastien Debs & JerAx | Jesse Vainikka
Series: against the odds [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1726858
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	you shouldn’t be alone

**Author's Note:**

> *baguette tears incoming*
> 
> Am I going to stop mentioning the Birmingham incident in my fics any time soon? Probably not.
> 
> (Title is from _get well soon_ by _Ariana Grande_.)

It’s nearly two in the morning, and Jesse is drunk.

Well, perhaps not drunk, more like comfortably tipsy. He isn’t planning on getting more drunk either, not willing to go through a killer of a hangover the next day. He’s been sipping on the same glass of white wine for the past half an hour, and he thinks it’ll be enough for him for the rest of the night. As he brings the glass to his lips once more, Jesse turns his gaze towards his friends.

Sébastien and Johan are sitting on a couch near him, deep in conversation. Jesse hasn’t paid attention to them for a while now and has lost track of the subject, too tired to try to figure it out. Johan looks exhausted; the bags under his eyes are more prominent than ever. There’s certain sadness in the exhaustion too, has been ever since Birmingham. It’s the same kind of sadness that lurks within Jesse, but in Johan it seems to be stronger. 

“Think I’m gonna be heading to bed. Make sure this one doesn’t drink too much.” Jesse looks up at Johan, whose hand lands on his shoulder for a moment, squeezing it gently. He’s not exactly sure if he’s talking to Sébastien or him – perhaps he’s talking to both. But Jesse still nods, getting up for just a moment to pull Johan into a hug. It seems to surprise the Dane, but it doesn’t take long for him to melt into Jesse’s arms. They hold each other for a while before Jesse lets go, allowing Johan to retreat to the bedroom.

And then there were two.

Jesse walks to the couch Sébastien is sitting on and occupies the spot Johan left empty. Séb is a little more tipsy than he is, still holding on to his glass of wine. Jesse snatches it out of his hand fairly easily, the Frenchman’s coordination while tipsy not being the sharpest, and puts it on the table. “Don’t think we need to get any more drunk. We have work to do tomorrow.”

Sébastien huffs, but doesn’t put up a fight otherwise, moving to sit closer to Jesse. He ends up leaning against him, head resting on his shoulder. And they stay like that, comfortable silence surrounding them like a soft blanket.

“Does it still hurt for you?” Sébastien eventually breaks the silence with a question Jesse saw coming from miles away. It’s something that has been on both of their lips ever since Birmingham, but there hasn’t been a suitable time to hash it out. But now they are alone, Johan has gone to sleep, and they’re just tipsy enough to have the courage to face the subject. Jesse is glad Sébastien is the one to approach the topic first, as he had no idea how to.

“I don’t think it’s going to stop hurting anytime soon. I mean, I obviously wasn’t as close to Tal as Johan or you were, but he was the Captain,” Jesse muses quietly, pausing for a second before continuing. “Gustav leaving... I could understand. He got an offer from EG, things were going south with OG. The fact that Tal _asked_ to join fucks with my mind.”

It feels good to let those words out, it being the first time he has done so. Jesse did talk to Lasse briefly about everything, on the phone the week after it happened, but talking to someone who experienced the same situation is different. He and Séb have been treading on eggshells around Johan out of love, respecting the fact that he lost a friendship that was supposed to last a lifetime.

OG lost a Captain, Johan lost his best friend. It was bad enough that Tal stopped believing in the team, but the fact that he stopped believing in Johan to the point he was ready to throw away their friendship for his career... Just thinking about it makes Jesse’s blood boil.

“I felt betrayed. I still feel betrayed. And if _I_ feel like this, I can’t imagine how Johan feels.” Jesse nods at Séb’s words and sighs; there’s no way either of them could ever understand the pain Johan is going through. Not now, maybe not ever. That doesn’t mean their pain doesn’t matter, though.

Jesse glances at Sébastien, sensing that there’s something else he wants to say. He’s been the strongest one of them; he basically dragged Jesse and Johan to Paris, not wanting to stay separated. Every day he battles against the demons Tal’s departure left in Johan’s mind, tries his best to get him to trust himself again. To make Johan realize Tal was wrong, that Johan is still more than capable as a player. Jesse does his part too, but nobody could ever match Séb’s commitment to the cause.

Throwing his arm around Sébastien’s shoulders, Jesse pulls his friend closer. It’s as if he’s trying to say _I’m here, you can talk to me_. He feels Séb cuddle against him, his soft hair tickling Jesse’s chin. And Jesse gives him all the time in the world, drawing soothing circles against his shoulder in silence.

“I trusted him, you know. We spent a lot of time together, figuring out strats and drafting and everything. He was the last person I thought would leave, after Johan.” Séb’s voice cracks a little, all of the buried feelings breaking through. It’s heartbreaking to see the pain he’s holding, and Jesse wishes he could take at least some of it for himself to bear instead.

There’s something wet dripping on his shoulder, and Jesse realizes that Sébastien is crying. And so he hugs Séb tighter, telling him to let it all out, he’s there. Jesse holds Sébastien while he does so, his resentment towards Tal steadily growing.

“Tell me you’re not leaving us, Jesse.” Séb’s shaky words nearly knock the air out of Jesse’s lungs, and it takes him a second to recover. Séb sounds so desperate, and Jesse can feel him clinging to him like he’s holding on for dear life. Suddenly Jesse feels even more determined to get the team – Johan and Séb along with it – fixed. Like a phoenix, they will be reborn from the ashes.

Maybe it’s the alcohol in Jesse’s veins, but the thought nearly makes him vibrate. It’s as if he was a dying fire that at the last minute got life blown into it, raising the flames once again. “You wouldn’t get rid of me even if you wanted to. We are family for life, Séb.”

Sébastien lets out a choked laugh, and Jesse reaches out to wipe the tears off his face. Afterwards he presses a kiss into Séb’s hairline and leans against the back of the couch again, arm still resting on his shoulder. The conversation moves on to lighter topics, but Jesse can sense that they both feel relieved; it was good to finally let out some bottled up feelings.

They stay awake until the sun starts to rise, basking in each other’s presence. Eventually sleep overtakes them, and when Johan wakes up in the morning and heads to the kitchen, he’s greeted by a heartwarming sight in the living room. On the couch, limbs tangled together, his two friends are sleeping peacefully. Séb’s head is on Jesse’s chest, and he’s slowly drooling a puddle on the shirt. Jesse has an arm wrapped around Séb, like he’s hugging him as he sleeps.

It looks surprisingly comfortable, although Johan predicts that both of them will be complaining about some neck pains when they wake up. There’s a blanket on a chair nearby, and Johan grabs it to cover the sleeping pair, smiling as he does so.

And as Johan brews coffee and gets himself ready for the day, he occasionally steals glances at his friends on the couch and thinks, _maybe everything will be alright_.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.
> 
> <3


End file.
